I had intended to get this blog back on the business bandwagon. There are a myriad of external topics to choose from: the economy, the future of communications, our health care situation, and more. Then, there are a bevy of internal business topics I could write about: our incredible growth rate (recession?), the fact that we are finally a profitable business (yes, putting money in the bank) -- no small feat for a venture backed startup that still has 50% of its lifetime capital raised in the bank!

But, noooooo. People don't wanna hear about these things, do they? Despite my best efforts to move on, I continue to receive a plethora of pesky inquiries about our Fight Club results. It seems like rubber necking has finally made its way into Telecom! What exactly is Fight Club? What does the Wall Street Journal think of it?

So, I have tried to ignore these queries. But now even the blogosphere is demanding a follow-up.

Well, here goes: in a nutshell, it was a smashing success. Most people called me crazy for thinking of this idea. Even our investors had some nerves to quell on the issue -- meaning there was at least one uncomfortable board meeting in the run-up to the event. I get it. Who the heck would envision a fight club as a corporate team building event? Whelp....me. See, I am a fan of the fight game. And, over the years I have consistently noticed that even though it seems like a violent aggressive hate-filled sport, 8 times out of 10 the fighters, no matter how much crap they spew before the fight, are hugging at the end of it. In an odd way, the primordial act of "leaving it all in the ring" is an intimate experience.

I have this theory that we human beings are really 95% the same. We all have bodies that function the same. We all have similar feelings about wanting to be accepted and loved. We all experience family pain and joy and deal with the seven deadly sins during the course of our life. But, the funny thing is: we *choose* to define ourselves by the 5% that is different (nationality, skin color, financial status, sports team, appearance, etc). This is sort of tragic -- because by relating via our DIFFERENCES we miss the much greater opportunity to relate via our SIMILARITIES. The only car you ever wave to on the road is the one that is the same make/model as yours. Why?

But, once you step in the ring, it just doesn't matter what car you drive, or who the boss is, or what you look like. Everyone looks the same when they are getting punched in the face. And everyone feels the same when they are *done* getting punched in the face -- relief, joy, and a bit of unexpected love for the person that was punching them. Weird, I know. But, that's just how it works.

So, folks, it was a brilliant experience. I can safely say that for each of the 11 fighters that walked into that ring, it is a day we will never forget. And, a number of fighters have told me it was one of the best days of their lives. Even Carlo, one of our system administrators, who got stitches from a well timed knee from Andre, in engineering, said to me as he returned from getting stitched up: "Chris, my only regret is should this scar not last the rest of my life."

So, who won? Who lost? Did anyone go to the hospital? All good questions. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So a video must be worth a million? Well, we have both. As promised to each fighter in our fighter contract:

"The winner of each weight division will get two weeks paid vacation, and a 5 minute video produced by the Fonality Art Department depicting their illustrious rise through the MMA ranks and their crushing victories over their paltry opponents".

"The losers will have to grow moustaches of a duration commensurate to how long they lasted in the tournament - between 2 and 8 weeks. Moustaches must be cut at the lip and not resemble any acceptable/contemporary dating styles (beard, goatee, etc). Straight 70's porn stache only".

Loser Mustache Photos:

Winner Videos:

OK, that was exhausting, fun, team-building, terrifying, and all that. Time to get back to work. :)

--
Chris Lyman
Lightweight Champion of the Corporate World, lol!

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