Leadership is never given, it's taken.
About Chris
Chris Lyman is the CEO and Founder of Fonality. Fonality creates innovative and affordable phone systems for small and medium businesses. Our products include PBXtra, trixbox Pro, and trixbox CE.
Recent blog posts
- There is no such thing as good hiring, only good firing
- A.I.Gee Whiz!
- Giving it back
- Budgeting is BS
- Let it Burn
- America vs. Small Business (1-0)
- Leadership is never given, it's taken.
- If you aren’t being a parrot you aren't doing your job. If you aren’t being a parrot you aren’t doing your job.
- The Motif of Motivation
- Dell, Inc partners with Fonality
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Leadership is never given, it's taken.
The rantings of a serial entrepreneur as he wins, loses, and doesn't pull any punches in describing both...
Leadership is never given, it's taken.
Hey, Freud, roll over dude. Help me understand this one: How is it that people can sit at work all day and allow their conscious selves to have a robust internal dialogue about how many great ideas they have to improve the business they are employed at, while their unconscious selves leave them entirely powerless to speak up? How is it that instead of speaking up, they somehow justify their silence as a requisite of station and then go home that night, snuggle into their couch, fist remote into hand, and blast entertainment into both oracular sockets until the workday is long forgotten? Freud? Hello? Mother?
People can just be so weird at work. I find this dichotomy all the time after some work crisis – usually a customer getting screwed over by ineffective or missing process. During my forensic examination, I end up querying all involved employees about their role in the disaster. After narrowing it down to a single employee who made a crucial decision to *not* speak up, I almost always hear one of the same four lines after questioning them:
- “That’s always been the rule, since before I got here.”
- “That came from my boss. I don’t agree with it, but I don’t make the rules.”
- “I brought that up to my manager, but they didn’t listen.”
- …or…my absolute favorite: “I always knew that was wrong, but what can I do?”
For some reason, people assume that leadership is *given* in business. The typical mindset is:
“If only I were given the right to lead, then this place would run so much better.”
But, of course, since they *have not* been hand-delivered this right on a silver platter they feel that they are powerless to truly affect change in their workplace. Hence, they just keep their mouth shut and let all the idiot managers around them fuck the place up.
Huh?
What makes you think leadership is given to anyone? Did it ever occur to you that the people “leading” earned it as a result of NOT sitting on their hands and NOT letting everyone else hurtle the Titanic toward that particularly ominous looking shard of ice?
Let me ask you a question, Mr. Employee-who-is-so-ready-to-kick-ass, if only UPS would drop off a box of “ass-kicking-certification plaques” at your doorstep and say: “Look what brown just did for you today”…was leadership GIVEN to you in your personal life? Did you go to high school and get to sit in the leadership desk? When you hung out after school were your friends like: “Hey, what should we do today? Let’s ask Jim, he is our natural born leader.” Or, when you go to the bar, does the whole place mill around sheepishly slurping their vodka cranberries waiting for you to stand up and tell a joke that rocked the house?
Hell no. In personal life, the leaders are the ones that TAKE it. They are the ones that have the charisma and the chutzpah to make a joke – or to make a decision about WHAT BAR to go to, or rise to the occasion during that horrible crisis.
They TOOK leadership.
So, when the opportunity arises – or, especially, when it doesn’t – take leadership. Got an idea that you think your managers are missing? Tell them. They don’t like it? Tell their bosses. They don’t like it? Tell the CEO! Stand on his or her desk if you have to – shout your reasoning, advocate for your customers, do what you have to do. Think you are gonna get fired? Maybe. Think your wax-eared bosses are gonna do it their way anyway? Probably. Think it’s gonna build your leadership skills so next time YOU are the boss? Definitely.
So, take off your glasses. Wipe them clean. Now put them back on. See all those managers around you? You know, those idiots that have all the power, but don’t make any smart decisions. Guess how they got that job?
They took it.
--
Chris Lyman
Fonality CEO & Janitor
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Good post... it is always
Good post... it is always the case where a group is waiting for someone to step up and take charge...they accept the minion status instead. It takes a lot of courage to actually step forward and rise to the occasion...but one who dares wins... :o)
well said!
well said!
Generally I wouldn't
Generally I wouldn't disagree with this. Except that a lot of people are afraid of getting fired. And often, you do get fired, or sidelined.
I left my last job for pretty much this reason, I spoke to my managers, their managers, the VPs, the CEO, but they all seemed to have a veil on. Seemed like they were afraid of change, not realizing that they would continue to slip if they didn't change.
I ended up looking like the idiot, because no one else would speak up, because they were afraid of getting fired or sidelined (fear of losing a steady stream of income does that to people).
So I left.
Don't learn the wrong lesson
Adnan,
Don't learn the wrong lesson from your experience! At least you had the courage and intestinal fortitude to try. Speaking up is 90% of the battle. That is exactly what I meant when I said:
"Think you are gonna get fired? Maybe. Think your wax-eared bosses are gonna do it their way anyway? Probably. Think it’s gonna build your leadership skills so next time YOU are the boss? Definitely."
I wasn't declaring that every time you opened your mouth you would engender sweeping change within your organization. However, by speaking you made your position known and when they wouldn't change, you changed the only thing left you could -- your job.
Tell me this: don't you feel better that you at least spoke up before leaving, instead of slinking away with your lips pursed as most do?
Bravo! Your old employers don't know what they lost when they lost you! Next time, be the boss. And, don't forget to reward those that work for you when they have the guts to speak up too!
../chris
quality post
@ Chris: Nice post. It's true that most people's strong thoughts will not always be openly received and, yes, they may even get fired. Oh well. I've always been ok with taking that chance. Albert Einstein once said, "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." I'd say that theory worked out just fine for him...
Whach where you step
Chris,
I really enjoy your management views and the direct way that you represent them. I also very often agree with you including the points you make here, yet... I am compelled to state you planted a mighty big mine field with out much guidance how to navigate through. Granted, I am guessing by the tone, this is more of a venting session than an educational opportunity but still there are effective methods to take leadership and there are methods that will assuredly leaded to failure. Screaming 'take the hill at all cost' is fine as long as you remember to point to the pile of guns that will be useful during the incursion and let's not forget to remember suggesting which hill may be of value as well.
I am one of those people that believe leadership skills can be taught but not everyone is a born leader and not 'everyone' can be taught. Meyers and Briggs made a name for themselves identifying and classify personality types that help individuals understand their type and how they may be perceived by and how to approach people of different or like types. The one major truth that comes from their research is there are more fascist to peoples personalities than there are people. Yes there are people that have an innate ability to grasp a hold of any situation and lead then there is the rest that need to learn leadership skills or be the best damn follower they can be.
So beyond imparting the empowerment to be leaders what would you suggest are some of your favorite methods for leadership success?
Jim
BTW I am an ENTJ
Speaking up is not yelling up. :)
James,
Hi there. Thanks for the thoughtful commentary. You raise a good point about not screaming "take the hill at all costs". Let me clarify: I was *not* suggesting that every employee inside of a company run screaming to anyone who might listen to them every time they have anything to say. While that sounds wildly entertaining to me, it would certainly wreak havoc within any organization.
Actually, I barely mentioned HOW one should speak up in my blog. Instead, I focused on ACT of speaking up. Figuring out the right way to voice your opinions is secondary to having the courage (or care) to voice them in the first place. Walk before you can run. :)
So, I think you are posing a good question of "How to speak up." Here is how I would recommend it to folks:
But, I want to again stress that the most important lesson is to ACTUALLY speak up and not worry too much about HOW to speak up. Most people spend most of their life “almost” speaking up and it is a damn tragedy as they have so much to offer. If they would just start doing it they would gain confidence via experience and slowly transit to becoming intelligently vociferous.
../chris
Leadership is action not a position!
Being a business owner I know exactly where you are coming from on this. I refer to this as the standing on the tracks starring down the freight train that is going to crush us syndrome. My theory is that it's all centered on/around using blame to escape personal responsibility and focusing on imaginary negative outcomes to their actions. Leadership is action not a position! -I stold that from someone ;)
It is easier to think...
Chris:
Most people do not become leaders because it is easier to think about what to do then it is to actually do the work involved with taking a leadership role and changing something. Honestly, it is the "hard work" that detracts most from being a leader, entrepreneur, the best, etc.
Never thought of it that way...
Garrett,
Interesting point. I never really considered it a laziness issue as much a not-willing-to-take-risks / not-confrontational / lack-of-confidence issue. Now that I think about it, I am sure you are right in some of the cases - I am sure there is a "why should I bother?" quotient at play here...
Diminishing returns is also at play
Chris:
To extrapolate...
At the end of the day, most people have a hard cap as it relates to how much work they want to do. For most being a leader reaches a point of diminishing returns rather quickly (is that extra 10 hours at the office, reading that book, being away from family friends, earning an additional $5K really worth it?) That is why folks like you stick out so much - you are inherently driven to be a leader.
I also think that some people get “leadership fatigue.” After a period of time it gets to a point where it can be very frustrating/annoying to be constantly taking a leadership role, doing more, working harder, while everyone else continues at the same speed. Couple in the fact that these efforts can go for naught, be unrecognized, have the potential to be taken away and that as a leader you almost have to continuously do more just to not be viewed as someone who feels entitled, I can see how the majority think, “Why bother?”
The prospects of “working like an owner” only to be “governed like an employee” for most isn’t appealing (While almost every business owner would argue that their risk personally and financially is far greater than that of an employee,for many leaders, however, their are the same downsides in many cases (often without the upside). I.E. One could lose their job and as a result my house, car, etc if the business fails.).
At the end of the day leaders are hard to find, even harder to groom and nearly impossible to keep around for a long time.
I agree with Chris's
I agree with Chris's comments, the only thing I would add is - Have the courage to speak up but also have the humility to admit when your wrong and learn from yours and those around you mistakes, This will Guarantee ALOT of discouragment and dissapointment can be missed if you just carefully ponder and listen quietly to thing being done around you.
PUUHHLEEEASE...
Oh, how I enjoyed this read.
In the word's of a good friend;
EVERYBODY'S got the ANSWER, but NOBODY wants to the damn WORK.
So would these people, PUHLEASE stop the bitching and do their JOBS.
Have a Fabulous day!
Engaged Leadership...
What you describe is so common. I've spent years dealing with this same problem and just recently found a great book on the subject that provides the relevant vocabulary to address and educate people about this problem.
Engaged Leadership: Building a Culture to Overcome Employee Disengagement
One of the better reads I've had and something I think you and the other folk posting here would benefit from. Enjoy!
nice post .....in other way,
nice post .....in other way, opportunity is not given .....it is taken !!!
Nice post and hello from a long lost friend/colleague
Chris,
Nice to see you still kicking butt in the business world. I couldn't agree more with you on this post. Being afraid to speak up probably cost me a high paying dream job earlier in my career when I was still working in radio. Though today I work for a great company where I constantly bring up ideas to my bosses and management, sometimes they agree other times they don't.
Anyway if you get a chance send me an email as I have a couple of questions about your new company.
Scott Littleton
former Virtualis Reseller
Heya Scott
Scott!,
You got that right about speaking up -- you win some and you lose some, but at least everyone always knows where you stand, and you don't have to punch pillows at night.
Nice to hear from you! Will shoot you an email right now.
../chris
To go along with Sean's comment.
To go along with Sean's comment, I would add, Engaged enthusiasm. enthusiasm and vision combined with courage to act on your dreams and the ability to be vocal about in words everyone understand is what I beleive seperates the leaders from the followers. The gift of a true leader is the ability to paint a crystal clear picture of the vision he/she holds that can be sensed by those following. The lighthouse in the fog so to speak.
True
"So, take off your glasses. Wipe them clean. Now put them back on. See all those managers around you? You know, those idiots that have all the power, but don’t make any smart decisions. Guess how they got that job?" Wow!!! Nice to read that, that did punched some sense into my near empty head
Not Working For Failure
I did this with my last job. Spent time trying to get the team to improve the software development process with means that I had seen have very good results rather than just hacking away at the programs until they looked (to a cursory visual check - that was the extent of the testing!) like they worked. When it came down to the choice between producing crap or leaving, I left. Then I took a year off. Now I'm looking again, and times are rough, but I don't regret that choice - attempting to work in an environment where I was not able to improve would have damaged me.
The point for me was not who was the 'leader', it was about how we approached the task at hand - working for failure is not acceptable.
Regards,
David H. Silber
P.S. I've applied for a job at Fonality via your CATS system and never got the automated acknowledgement, so I don't know if anyone has actually seen my application.
Love it
David,
I love your approach. All too often engineers settle for a case of "that's how it was when I got here" vs. "I will leave it better than before". This applies to methodoloical approach, best practices, structure of existing libraries and functions, syntax, QA, and more.
I always reward the latter with promotions, raises, and invites to the exclusive parties around town (hehe, I wish).
../chris
Tx for the head's up about the CATS bug. HR's response today: "Thanks. Fixed."
Thank you
I really want to work on my leadership skills and this might really help. Thank you for posting this.
Really strong statement. I
Really strong statement. I believe leadership is never really given, but rather you have to build self confidence and self esteem to overall become a person who have leadership.
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