Web Meetme Controlled Conferencing

I am very open to ideas, and because I dont know the first thing about freeswitch, I would still host a bounty to have some help and input from someone to help me put this together.
As far as 3, 4, or 5 servers, I can do that with trixbox, not a problem with the hardware there.

AGAIN, my first concern is the WHITELIST that will allow/disallow callers into the conference,

then make sure that by default there is NO join/disjoin noises and beeps, and all members will be MUTED by default, unless they have the moderator PIN

I dont care which way we go, trixbox vs. freeswitch, but would still be open to whoever would like to help me accomplish this. (I am familiar with trixbox, and if freeswitch isn't too far different, I possibly could catch on to that one. Learning is good)

There is no easy 1 2 3 for this, clustering asterisk is not something which works well nor is it a easy setup.
The place to go is the freeswitch web site for this.

All of what you want is custom coding there is no plug n play for this.

How many callers can I have in one trixbox conference call, and what server would someone recommend? I will let that be my limit as to how large I want to go. All I really need is the WHITELIST and the defaults for silence and not two way audio for all callers.

Zigg.z;
I have some expertise regarding pushing Asterisk to the limit. I recently setup a voice broadcasting/autodialer system for a nonprofit where they made 200,000 calls on a single Asterisk box in one day. There are things you need to take into consideration here. The first is bandwidth. You need to put that server in a real hosting center, not the $9.99/mo all you can eat hosting center that is so prevalent today. If you want to use G.729, your bandwidth requirements drop dramatically, but other issues arise. Unlike a normal call, all meetme call legs are transcoded into slinear and back into the connecting codec. You can look into dedicated transcoder cards like Digium's TC400B, which can transcode 120 calls. The problem with that is that the cards are fairly expensive, maybe $1200+. However, I still think your project is very doable, and the dedicated transcoder cards can be avoided if you have enough bandwidth and decent PC hardware. Your other requirements about the whitelist and managing the conference users is trivial. One thing I think you will like is the flash application I use to manage the conference users. You can check it out here:
http://demo.voipbiz.org:8000/conference.jpg.
If there is anything I can do, please do not hesitate to write me at fsd (at) voipbusiness (dot) us.
Regards;
FSD